and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
