you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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