I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
