in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize