Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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