I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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