i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
