next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
