you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
