Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
