the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
