I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
