Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wear drunk well.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
