put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
