Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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