All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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