I have demons in me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
