My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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