"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Shame - the story of my life.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
