I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
