so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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