piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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