I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
