I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
