I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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