The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
