is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
