How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
