You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
