This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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