That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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