I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
