Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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