either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
