just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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