Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
