you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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