you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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