So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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