At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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