Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
