ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
