Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I will be naked everywhere
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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