stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
