wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
