chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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