pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
