So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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