Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
