Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
