yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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