You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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