i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize