Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
